Thursday, April 30, 2015

walk of shame

I eat my toast with a fork and my scrambled eggs with red pepper flakes. He eats his eggs with his toast like a sandwich. 
I love pippy poppy loud music. He discovers a new artist every week and thrives on the composition and word play that is present. 

We are two totally different people, "opposites attract". This has never been truer than now. It is crazy how you don't realize that until you live with someone. The getting to know them phase is just that a phase, you spend a few months acquainting yourselves with their likes, dislikes, favs and dreams. But when you live with someone you experience everything. The morning breath, the bed head, the 'fresh face' sans make up, the toilet seat that never gets let down or the shoes in the middle of the floor. You seriously cannot hid anything when you live with someone. 

That is a blessing and a curse. The blessing being that you get so close to this person. You experience their fears and nightmares. You are the person that wakes up next to them when they scream out in fright, you are the one that gets to kiss that precious face first thing in the morning. You become that person that makes their life livable. 

The curse is you realize you guys don't really like the same things. At all. From food to music to drinks to movies... nothing at all is the same and the word 'compromise' has a new definition for you. A whole new meaning... 

You begin to wonder what it means to give things up for another person, you begin to wonder what all will be given up on this quest to have a new life together with the person you love. Becoming a couple means there are things that you leave behind. Dreams are not one of them, dreams become something you work for together. Dreams become something that each one of you believe in and support and work hard to achieve. 

But at what cost...  Are you leaving part of you behind... Are you silencing that inner thing you once strove so hard to attain... Are you losing yourself in hopes of finding yourself...

Little topics of discussion become blown out of proportion... you become confused and lost in engagements... you just stop wanting to talk at all, not because you are uneducated on the matter at hand, but because you just don't want to care any more... you just give up. 

They say you pick the battles that matter to you and you chose the ways to win wars... Generals lose sleep finding the perfect plan of attack to come out triumphant... 

I don't want to win a war or a battle or be in a constant tug of war with the one I love but when you are so starkly different what do you do? 

You learn them. 

Inside and out, you learn their ways and their beliefs, you divulge in their passions and step WAY OUT of your personal comfort zone and find out what truly makes them tick. 

You want to be happy, choose happy. Want to be miserable choose misery. Want to be in love, then goddammit be in love. With everything that person offers you. 

Their flaws make up their perfections. Their passions make up their dreams. Their fears make up their courage. 

So what he reads more articles about politics than he eats meals in a day. 
I read none. So during the upcoming elections he can educate me on the best candidate. 

So what I read more books a month than he has been a live. When we have little curly head children I can pass on our passion of learning. 

Everything that separates us brings us that much closer. Our differences will be what builds our future. With time and patience we will figure things out, because at the end of the day that is what love is... 

Love is having patience and taking the time and making things that are silly and irrelevant super important because your better half thinks is should be. 

Its not about being pussy whipped or being under your significant other's control. Its about being so into that person you are willing to give up whatever you have to to make them happy... but at the end of the day not having to give anything up. Because they love you exactly how you are. 





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